| The More I See The Less I Know |
[Jun. 13th, 2009 ♠ 10:30 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | Music |
| | Say Hey (I Love You) | ] |
EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
THIS WEEK HAS BEEN CRAZYYY.
As in, I've never had events in my life be so bipolar in forever. Every time something horrible happened, something else amazing followed. It was a mixture of me taking charge and pure chance, but it's been a wonderful ride. Even the weather was bipolar, a wonderful mix of scorching sunlight and cooling rain. I just can't describe the way this week has made me feel. I've never felt so low, be it angry or sad, and recover so quickly to blissful highs. And as bad and frequent as those lows were, they seem to be a culmination of all the shit that's been bothering me for the past few months. Everything is finally working itself out, and as a result I feel so much better. I still like my misery here and there. I relish it, because it makes me appreciate and understand what happiness really is... but it's so great to work things out. I did not want to be miserable all of the time and have happiness be a rare thing.
And not only am I working on rekindling friendships that I feared I was losing, but I've made some really amazing new friends this week as well.
Also, I've got a job. =) I HAVE A FUCKING JOB, FINALLY! Seriously, living as a starving culinary student is just ridiculous (also, it makes for a humorous oxymoron). I'm working as a barista at a car wash. I won't have many hours, so I'm still searching for a second job, but this is a good start. The place has emphasis on being green, it's a pretty cool set up. I'm pretty happy. I go in tomorrow at 7:30. My life as a vampire is coming to an end, but for a good cause.Now, off to do the chores that I was going to do all day tomorrow. poo.
I’ve been a lot of places all around the way
I’ve seen a lot joy and I’ve seen a lot of pain
but I don’t want to write a love song for the world,
I just want to write a song about a boy and a girl
Junkies on the corner always calling my name
And the kids on the corner playing ghetto games
When I saw you getting down well I hoped it was you
And when I looked into your eyes I knew it was true |
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| Climax |
[Jun. 1st, 2009 ♠ 12:14 pm] |
So I had this in my profile, goodness knows how long ago that was, but I just found it again and decided to post it because I like the quote and wanted to share.
"Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows. Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength, he nourishes himself from this fusion, and then he rises and goes into the world, into his work, into battle, into art. He is not lonely. He is busy. The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion. The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty. Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure in which he has bathed, and a charge of electric joy at contact with another. When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled, each act of love is a taking of man within her, and act of birth and rebirth, of child bearing and man bearing. Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew with a desire to act, to BE. But for a woman, the climax is not in the birth, but in the moment when man rests inside of her."
Anais Nin |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 8th, 2009 ♠ 05:53 pm] |
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a sense of longing. |
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| New favorite quote: |
[May. 5th, 2009 ♠ 05:35 pm] |
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"I would have done the walk of shame but I couldn't walk." |
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| Gollum's Song. |
[Jan. 24th, 2009 ♠ 08:13 pm] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  confused | ] |
Where once was light Now darkness falls
Where once was love
Love is no more
Don't say goodbye
Don't say I didn't try
These tears we cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies you told us
The hurt, the blame!
And we will weep to be so alone
We are lost
We can never go home
So in the end
I'll be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me
Now we say goodbye
We say you didn't try
These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt, the blame!
And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home
You are lost
You can never go home |
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| Pure Happiness. |
[Jan. 18th, 2009 ♠ 04:32 am] |
| [ | Mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
No matter my mood, this man can always make me smile.
"Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you will find that the sky is yours"
"I don't wanna wake before
The dream is over
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes I... I will own it
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes I'll make it all mine"
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| This did start as an entry about my life lately... This came out instead.... |
[Oct. 7th, 2008 ♠ 04:09 pm] |
Why do I bother bloging when I never say what I really want or mean? Why do I bother writing this crap when I censor my self from the people who read this and simultaneously wish I wouldn't and finally say what I really think. I wish that some people not on here would read my entries, the entries I always wanted to type but never had the courage to before. I've been hiding this HUGE part of me, out of fear and I find it ridiculous. Why hide? Especially when I've fallen out of contact with so many of you here. Sure, I take the time to read what yo write about, follow your lives from afar, share your happiness and your pain. I never comment, and often times feel almost stalker-ish because of it. Then again, there are few who regularly comment on my things either, so either those of you who do not comment, are not reading, or stalking me as I stalk you. Which I am fine with. I just don't know how I find the need to continue censoring myself from people I barely know anymore. I don't mean that in a poor way either, people grow apart. At least the internet gives us this little bit of "communication" rather than how things would have been years ago, before this age of technology. I'm just trying to understand myself.
I think I'm going to semi-leave LJ. Go somewhere to hide in anonymity until I grow some balls and tell everyone how I feel. I don't want to make all my entries here private anymore, I do want feed back, but I'm pretty sure I'm not comfortable with everyone on here knowing every bit of my life. So I'm off to another blog site, to try and get some of this out of my system. I'll still update randomly as I do here and there, and I'll continue reading your entries, but I think I'm done with this site holding all my angst. I want a fresh start. |
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| Comfortably Numb |
[Oct. 4th, 2008 ♠ 07:49 pm] |
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ships smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I cant hear what youre sayin.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.
learning it on the guitar. =/ |
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| the lesson of the moth by Don Marquis |
[Aug. 5th, 2008 ♠ 12:41 am] |
i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into
an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires
why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense
plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
and then we shoot the roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves
and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happiness and twice
the longevity
but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself
archy |
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| Let's Start Talking Again, I'm Alive. |
[Feb. 26th, 2008 ♠ 02:48 am] |
I miss you all, especially you, Bri. So far this year has thrown me through a loop. Transferring colleges and finding my place here, it's so odd. I'm a 20 yr old freshman, but I think I'm okay with that. I'll recap on this all some time... you know not during the wee hours of the morning when I should be sleeping but can't because I just woke up again to a fit of coughs. Damn cold. ha. Anyway, to get me posting again, here's a fun little survey.
1) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
2) What was your dream growing up?
3) What talent do you wish you had?
4) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
5) Favorite vegetable?
6) What was the last book you read?
7) What zodiac sign are you?
8) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
9) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me? (hmmm...careful!)
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) If you could live anywhere in the world where would you chose?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you? |
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| A Meme. (I hate that word.) |
[Jan. 28th, 2008 ♠ 07:19 pm] |
Go to Wikipedia and click random article. That is your band's name.
Click random article again; that is your album name.
Click random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your album.
Band: Helcystogramma
Album: Youth
Track Listing:
1. Oana Pantelimon
2. Elisabeth Catherina Koopmann Hevelius
3. Shanks Islands (Tasmania)
4. Bureya River
5. The Baum Bugle
6. Michael Stroka
7. Wojciech Żukowski
8. Surf Ballroom
9. 140
10. Leakage column
11. Space Science Fiction
12. Bombardier 415
13. Modern Life Is War
14. Giri Raj Singh Sirohi
15. Ishum |
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| good bye |
[Dec. 20th, 2007 ♠ 04:06 pm] |
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Goucher. |
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| Random. |
[Oct. 27th, 2007 ♠ 03:07 am] |
so somehow we got on the subject of shaving one's "business area".
Random excerpt:
"I don't want a razor near my business area!"
"Well emo kids do it all the time. I bet they shave their junk to match the drapes."
So yea, emo kids shave most of their junk then straighten the rest over one nut. HA.
Random thing number two:
"I saw that.... you have a hot dog." I'll explain that one lates. |
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| ha. |
[Sep. 26th, 2007 ♠ 03:34 pm] |
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How sharper than a serpent's tooth, James thinks darkly, is a woman who does not trust you with noodles. |
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| Little Shop of Horrors |
[Jul. 27th, 2007 ♠ 12:41 am] |
Friday, Saturday, & Sunday
at 19:30.
Get in early for good seats!
Hope to see you all there. =) |
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